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Behind the Songs

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where the stories begin, and the music learns to breathe

PLAYING PRETEND

 

 

Playing Pretend was written on a night where everything in my life felt a little blurry — the line between honesty and illusion, who I was and who I thought I had to be.

I wrote it in a moment where I realized I’d been holding my breath for far too long, pretending I was okay when I wasn’t — and the song became the truth I hadn’t said out loud yet.

 

It’s about the pressure to stay “fine” even when you’re overwhelmed.

It’s about having two versions of yourself — the one everyone sees and the one you privately carry.

It’s about the ache of pretending for so long that you start to forget what honesty feels like.

 

This song reminded me that it’s okay to stop performing and finally tell the truth — even if your voice shakes.

 

“Maybe I’ve been playing pretend for so long… I forgot what honesty feels like.”

 

 

 

Creation Notes

 

 

  • Started as a soft 2am voice memo — almost a whisper

  • Inspired by the “mirror moment” where everything finally comes into focus

  • Verses began fragile & conversational, like a confession in the dark

  • Chorus is the emotional release — the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding

  • One of the most vulnerable songs of the Mirrorlight Chapter

  • Sparked the mirror-writing visuals, lipstick motifs & glittery-soft era aesthetic

ANYTHING

 

 

Anything was the first time I admitted out loud that chasing a dream is both painful and breathtaking.

I wrote it on a night where I felt like I was trying so hard that I had nothing left — but the act of writing the song reminded me why I keep going.

 

It’s about self-belief when belief feels impossible.

It’s about wanting something so deeply it hurts.

It’s about choosing music even on the days it feels like it’s choosing against you.

 

It became my reminder that the small, quiet kind of strength counts too.

 

“They say you can put your mind to anything… but the more I try, the less I can believe.”

 

 

Creation Notes

 

 

  • Inspired by late-night voice memos & the “I can’t give up” feeling

  • Verse melodies began as soft hums in the dark

  • The bridge captures the moment of emotional overflow

  • One of the most personal songs I’ve ever finished​

CLOSURE

 

 

Closure is the kind of goodbye that doesn’t feel clean — the version that loops in your head even after you’ve walked away. I wrote it during a time when I didn’t understand how to let go, and this song became the only place I could tell the truth.

 

It’s not angry.

It’s not bitter.

It’s the quiet, heartbreaking realization that some endings don’t come with answers.

 

I wrote it to make sense of feelings that didn’t want to be organized — so the song moves the way the emotion did: soft, unsure, repetitive, honest.

 

“There’s no defining closure… but it’s been good to know ya.”

 

 

Creation Notes

 

 

  • Inspired by Gracie’s Cedar

  • Written in pieces over several months

  • The outro line was a last-minute addition and ended up becoming the emotional punch

  • One of my most-streamed early singles

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